Linoleum Knife

EPISODE 100, Y'ALL. And they said it wouldn't last. Dave and Alonso deglaze the pan of 2012 with the year's final new releases and their choices of the best movies of the year. Turin horses and plague-surviving will be mentioned. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in on GetGlue.com, thank you for all the joy and pain.

Direct download: Linoleum_20121230.m4a
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Dave has his buttons pushed by Barbra Streisand. Alonso does his Werner Herzog impersonation. It's that kind of episode. (Number 99, to be exact.) Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher Radio, have the most, the merriest.

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Dave and Alonso are getting over being sick, but there's just so much to share about the creepy new 48 frames-per-second technology and the belt-cracking joys of "This Christmas." Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us at Stitcher Radio, hang your stockings and say your prayers 'cause Santa Claus comes tonight.

Direct download: Linoleum_20121216.m4a
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Wash your hands after listening, because Dave and Alonso are both fighting off colds. But they rallied enough to discuss the truth about "Jingle Bells," a double-shot of C.Z. Jones, and much more. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in at GetGlue, pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie.

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If you thought Dave and Alonso were done talking about Christmas movies, well no. Director Jim Fall ("Trick") drops by to talk about his latest Lifetime joint "Holly's Holiday" and to share the show's first-ever live and in-person Top Ten list. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher Radio, let man his songs employ.

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Dave and Alonso are on their A-game, what with the very fancy (and hilarious) Manohla Dargis, film critic for The New York Times, dropping by to talk about holiday movies. (And did we mention that Alonso is the author of HAVE YOURSELF A MOVIE LITTLE CHRISTMAS? http://amzn.to/b444F8 ) Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, just hear those sleigh bells ring-a-ling, jing-ting-ting-a-ling too.

Direct download: Linoleum_20121125.m4a
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Dave and Alonso look back on the insane fan response to one of this generation's most popular franchises and parse the difference between the Tolstoy heroine and the Godard star. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in at GetGlue.com, you need another lover like you need a hole in your head.

Direct download: Linoleum_20121118.m4a
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Dave and Alonso discuss wine tastings, crazy secessionists and the golden age of sleazy PG movies, along with the week's new movies. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and review!) at iTunes, don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me.

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Dave can't stop himself from giggling over a particular actress' last name, while Alonso is very disappointed in a certain musician-turned-director. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, write us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, why waste your time, you know you're gonna be mine.

Direct download: Linoleum_20121104.m4a
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Dave recalls the Halloween he dressed as a popular cereal mascot while Alonso wants October 31 to be over so Christmas can begin in earnest. Like us on Facebook, stream us on Stitcher Radio, subscribe for free at iTunes, bang on the drum all day.

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Dave and Alonso go deep in attempting to figure out What's Eating Tyler Perry while also plumbing the Haunted-McMansion subtext of the Paranormal Activity movies. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us at Stitcher Radio, please don't talk about me when I'm gone.

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After a week off Dave and Alonso have lots of ground to cover, including Objectivism on a budget and thoughts on Ben Affleck's future as a filmmaker. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream on Stitcher Radio, drop us a line at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, pass the peas.

Direct download: Linoleum_20121014.m4a
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Dave and Alonso get into a bit of a rhubarb about the latest from Rian Johnson, but they are in agreement about teachers' unions and Cinerama and THE WIZ. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in at GetGlue.com, climb ev'ry mountain.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120930.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 7:17pm EST

Dave and Alonso discuss white ninjas, tea additives and low-budget superheroes, as well as six new movies. Also, they impersonate Dream Academy and This Mortal Coil. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe and (rave) review at iTunes. clap-a yo' hands, slap-a yo' thighs, hallelujah, hallelujah.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120923.m4a
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Dave and Alonso are joined by special guest Marc Edward Huyck (@the_hoyk) to discuss a bunch of movies, most of which are in limited release, some of them so limited that we didn't feel like driving 100 miles to see them. (We're looking at you, latest Nicolas Cage vehicle.) Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, review us at iTunes, walk it like you talk it or you'll lose that beat.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120916.m4a
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On the slowest box office weekend of the year, Dave and Alonso discuss celebrity divorce, the thrill of other people's arguments in public, and a bunch of listener Top 10 lists. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe at iTunes, check in on GetGlue.com, stream at Stitcher Radio, put your left foot in and shake it all about.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120909.m4a
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Dave and Alonso talk about the passing of Dave's mom, rant and rave about moviegoing experiences and do their best to make heads or tails of that "Oogieloves" movies. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter @linoleumcast, review us on iTunes, yo DJ pump this party.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120902.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 3:53pm EST

Anti-bullying deodorant, metaphorical automobiles, the truth about gospel choirs, and more! Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast on Twitter, subscribe at iTunes, stream us on Stitcher, take the elevator to the mezzanine.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120819.m4a
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Dave and Alonso cover the week's two big movies, yes, but they also remember several folks who passed on this week. Our hosts also make a concerted effort to dig through the backlog of mail from listeners. Add to that backlog at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, like us on Facebook, follow @linoleumcast on Twitter, check in at GetGlue, stand up for your love rights.

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Guest co-host Alynda Wheat of PEOPLE magazine thinks Dave bailed this week because most of the movies were so awful. Alonso keeps pouring the mimosas so she'll stay. Follow us @linoleumcast on Twitter, like us on Facebook, check in on GetGlue.com, stream us on Stitcher, don't stop believin'.

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Dave takes a trip to the ER, Alonso battles a summer cold, and they still manage to record their longest episode to date. Follow them @linoleumcast and check in on GetGlue.com and like it on Facebook and smile though your heart is aching.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120729.m4a
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Dave and Alonso discuss the big summer movie that everyone is seeing and talking about. Plus a few others. Follow us @linoleumcast, like us on Facebook, check in on GetGlue.com, be yourself tonight.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120722.m4a
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Dave interrupts the show to call his mom, Alonso takes time out of Outfest to respond to some questionable internet reportage, and they both think a new movie is so terrible that you should probably see it right away. Follow us @linoleumcast, write us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, like us on Facebook, subscribe at iTunes, and such as.

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Category:general -- posted at: 8:15pm EST

Dave and Alonso say "Make mine music!" OK, they don't, but they do discuss ape raves, movie soundtracks, candy-colored pop princesses and a movie named for a Leonard Cohen song. Follow us on Twitter @linoleumcast, like us on Facebook, drop us a line at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, check in at GetGlue.com, subscribe on iTunes, listen on Stitcher Radio, call your mother.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120708.m4a
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Look, Dave and Alonso have lesbians to meet for breakfast, and Dave is the president of the Super-Important Film Critics Club, so they meander a little less than usual this week. But only a little. "Like" our Facebook page, follow us on Twitter @linoleumcast, check into the show at GetGlue.com, subscribe on iTunes, listen on Stitcher Radio, write us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, try to floss at least once a day.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120701.m4a
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Dave and Alonso build a bridge between Suicidal Tendencies and Stephen Sondheim, discuss a disturbing children's movie that features a make-out between a man and a seal, and one of them cops to a moment of diva worship that happened at a TV taping this week. Follow us @linoleumcast

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Dave and Alonso discuss blackface Judy Garland, vegan pancakes, unintelligible songs from gay Danish movies, crispy chicken, fresh lettuce, three cheeses, ranch dressing, all wrapped in a tasty flour tortilla. Also, discussion of whether or not Dave is an idiot for liking the atrocious new Adam Sandler movie, listener Top Ten lists and another chapter of "Play-Mate of the Apes."

Direct download: Linoleum_20120617.m4a
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Dave and Alonso are back, with Broadway adventures, baked goods (no eating during the show, we promise) and arguments about music. And Dave begins an ongoing series in which he relates the plot of the softcore "Play-Mate of the Apes." In a clean-podcast kind of way.

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Chris Gore of ATTACK OF THE SHOW and PODCRASH WITH THAT CHRIS GORE sits in for Dave this week, and he and Alonso discuss random usage of British accents, a quick history of indie cinema and what WEST SIDE STORY and STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE have in common besides Robert Wise. Follow Chris @thatchrisgore and at chrisgore.com

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Alonso Duralde's out of town and Dave White's forced to turn to William Bibbiani of CraveOnline and The B-Movies Podcast for co-hosting assistance. Dave finally closes out his Robert Bresson pilgrimage, Bibbs discovers the power of Helen Slater's tiny tank top, and Men in Black 3 proves divisive. Sure, it's mediocre... but is it mediocre enough? They also gush about Wes Anderson's latest and ponder the crapitude of Chernobyl Diaries and France's answer to the cinematic career of Chris Columbus, Intouchables. Follow us on Twitter (@linoleumcast and @williambibbiani), submit questions to linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, subscribe on iTunes and like... nay, LOVE us on Facebook.

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Dave is still on his Bresson kick, Alonso shares another John Hughes memory, and both of them find BATTLESHIP to be entertaining if still a piece of crap. Like us on Facebook, check into the show at GetGlue.com, follow us at Twitter @linoleumcast and drop us a line at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com

Direct download: Linoleum_20120520.m4a
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This week, Dave is very fancy while Alonso sees vintage rollerblading movies. But they both love it when Richard Linklater stays in Texas and think Bobcat Goldthwait is aiming at the wrong targets. Oh, and get it together, Tim Burton.

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Dave and Alonso are joined by Alonso's college pal (and comics enabler) film critic Curt Holman @curt_holman to talk about Joss Whedon's super-team hit. Find out Alonso and Dave's funeral wishes, which one of them is a Nigella Lawson fanboy, and why The Avengers are like #Occupy

Direct download: Linoleum_20120506.m4a
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Alonso analyzes the mechanics of getting "the nod" from hip indie record-store clerks, while Dave laments the passing of Sara Lee cheesecake bites and NBC's "Providence" (in tandem) before praising TORQUE again.

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Dave and Alonso disagree about the Three Stooges (but not about the new movie of the same name) and try to figure out just what a "fanboy movie" is and why the general public seems not to like them. And Alonso sees his first Béla Tarr movie. Like us on Facebook, follow our show on Twitter @linoleumcast

Direct download: Linoleum_20120415.m4a
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Special guests Grae Drake and Drew Droege join Alonso and Dave on Easter to discuss new movies; this is probably the only podcast you'll hear this week to reference "The Apple," Jodorowsky, "Taradise," Céilne Dion, Guy Maddin, Béla Tarr and "Josie and the Pussycats." P.S. The audio levels are all over the place. Sorry.

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Alonso and guest host Matt Atchity of Rotten Tomatoes (aka "Fat Beardo 1" & "Fat Beardo 2" to some What the Flick?! viewers) talk about the death of regional film criticism (in print, anyway) and the ongoing problems with the MPAA ratings system when not actually discussing this week's new movies. Follow Matt @MAtchity on Twitter.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120401.m4a
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Dave's shocking revelations about his childhood flirtation with showtunes shock Alonso, and they eventually talk about the week's new movies after a long digression involving Christian Marclay's 24-hour film "The Clock."

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Dave's excited over his new headphones, while Alonso goes down a rabbit-hole of TV nostalgia. All this, plus brioche, Hokeys and cinemaniacs.

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So many movies this week, but Dave and Alonso still find time to talk about Doomsday Preppers, the Adam Scott/Hellraiser connection, and the eternal mystery that is Loretta aka Chiffon.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120310.m4a
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Dave and Alonso endure the longest opening theme song ever, debate the relative merits of 1982 vs. 1984 summer movies, and disagree over the meaning of the word "free-wheeling."

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Dave and Alonso want everyone to start behaving themselves in movie theaters, even though that seems to be a totally lost cause. They also have plenty to say about the forward momentum of Tyler Perry as a director and are much less interested in rehashing this year's Oscar show.

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Dave and Alonso are kind of bummed this week, because if you can't trust Nicolas Cage and the guys behind "Crank" to make an interesting movie about a flaming skeleton who rides a motorcycle, what's the point?

Direct download: Linoleum_20120219.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 6:49pm EST

Dave and Alonso get side-tracked from this week movies and discuss Glitter and Sissy Spacek and Whitney Houston and Mary Kay Place and then somehow Glitter again. But they also review ths week's new movies. Except for Star Wars Episode I in 3-D, because seriously who cares.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120212.m4a
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TV star and sassy lady Christy Lemire joins Alonso for mimosas and Madonna, and discussions of haunted-house movies and 1980s sex romps. Follow her on Twitter: @christylemire

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Dave and Alonso are sort of perplexed by the careers of Katherine Heigl and Sam Worthington. Liam Neeson, on the other hand, totally gets a pass, as do movies full of references to the French New Wave.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120128.m4a
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Alonso's back from Park City, so this slightly tardy episode features his favorite films from the Sundance Film Festival, along with Dave's pick of good and bad action movies with female leads, and a documentary that's almost entirely about breasteses.

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Dave and Alonso are rendered almost speechless by the cruddiness of most of this week's movies, all the better to leave time to talk about lady doctors, Swinging London, and the intricacies of the "Petticoat Junction" theme song.

Direct download: Linoleum_20120115.m4a
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Dave and Alonso took a few weeks off, what with the holidays and their cars getting blown up by the LA Arsonist. So now they return with quick reviews of about a dozen movies plus tales of true crime.

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