Linoleum Knife

Dave and Alonso have a heapin' helpin' of Christmas releases to shovel through on this last episode of 2013, but luckily the hilarious and insightful Drew Droege @drewdroege is here to lend a hand and an opinon. Subscribe (and review us) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, and a love beat is a good vibration.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131229.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 5:05pm EST

Dave and Alonso revel in a relatively light pre-Christmas week before the flood of year-end releases, so there's plenty of time to discuss catchphrases, contemporary art and the hotness of Spaniards. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and leave us a nice review) on iTunes, wonderland, wonderland, shining star, jingle bells.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131222.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 4:28pm EST

Dave and Alonso try to fix Madea and share questions and theories about a beloved and much-hated Christmas staple, still finding time to discuss frozen jelly donuts and British chocolate biscuits. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and rate us) on iTunes, buy our shirt and commentary and books, you're all that I need, underneath the tree.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131215.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 11:25pm EST

Dave and Alonso are joined by Sean Abley, author of "Out in the Dark: Interviews with Gay Horror Filmmakers, Actors and Authors" to discuss folkies, hill people and cat peril. Buy a T-shirt or a book or a commentary track! Drop us a line at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com. You're much better with than without it.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131208.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 9:03pm EST

Dave and Alonso aren't entirely sure what two of their favorite African American filmmakers are up to in their latest, but at least Jason Statham is always Jason Statham. Buy a T-shirt or Alonso's book! Drop us a line at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com. Like our Facebook page and stuff. Rootie-toot-toots and rummy-tum-tums.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131201.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 9:23pm EST

Dave and Alonso ponder why so much of the "Hunger Games" marketing is aspirational toward the villains, as well as other cinematic mysteries. Subscribe for free on iTunes, where we would love it if you would leave us a positive review, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, buy a book, buy a shirt, every rose has its thorn.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131124.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 5:39pm EST

Dave and Alonso know it isn't Christmas yet, but they've already started playing holiday music on KOST in Los Angeles and Terrence Howard looks spiffy in a red scarf, so there you go. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a nice review on iTunes, you just walked right in, walked walked walked right in.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131117.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 9:17pm EST

Dave and Alonso wonder why parking (and cheese) is so expensive in Beverly Hills, and they hate inappropriately sappy Holocaust movies. All this and more on this week's episode. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a nice review on iTunes, things that you would not do at home come naturally on the floor.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131110.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 9:35pm EST

Dave and Alonso tackle aspirate h-es, magical homos and controversial authors in this week's installment. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a nice review (and subscribe for free) at iTunes, attention to me seemed to drift though I don't know where.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131104.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 2:39pm EST

Dave and Alonso discuss movies by, for and about Christians, which may or may not involve an "Oogieloves" reference. And Dave defends an aggressively unloved new movie. Subscribe (and review us) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, it ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it, and that's what get results.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131027.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 8:12pm EST

Guest star Jack Morrissey of the Team Jack Podcast (and co-producer of "The Fifth Estate") drops in to give Dave and Alonso some full-on Hollywood insider action. Strap yourself in. Also, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, review us (and subscribe for free) on iTunes, it leaps and creeps and glides and slides across the floor.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131020.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 8:46pm EST

Dave and Alonso connect the dots between Paul Greengrass and Kevin McCallister, among other big ideas. Like our Facebook page, visit linoleum-knife.com, follow us @linoleumcast, review us (and subscribe for free on iTunes), paradise is exactly like where you are right now only much, much better.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131013.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 2:34pm EST

Dave and Alonso have their usual disagreements about theme songs but they both really love that outer-space movie. Visit linoleum-knife.com, like our Facebook page, leave us a nice review (and subscribe!) at iTunes, the message is perfectly simple, the meaning is clear.

Direct download: Linoleum_20131006.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 8:38pm EST

Dave and Alonso go to Santa Monica for people-watching, meatballs and Stanley Kubrick. And Alonso made it home safely from Kosovo without having to wackily run through airports like Paula Patton. Subscribe (and review!) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, oh no it's a killer blow.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130929.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 5:59pm EST

Dave and special guest William "Bibbs" Bibbiani of CraveOnline, The B-Movies Podcast, S.H.I.E.L.D.C.A.S.T. and Kings of Horror make the most of Alonso's defection to Kosovo with reviews of the latest films that are out now in theaters for you to see... in theaters. Travel to Linoleum-Knife.com for more knifings, subscribe (and leave a review) on iTunes, like our official Facebook page, follow us on Twitter @LinoleumCast, and find Bibbs there too at @WilliamBibbiani. (P.S. Bibbs wrote this.)

Direct download: Battle_of_the_Year_Rush_Enough_Said_Prisoners.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:31pm EST

Dave and special guest William "Bibbs" Bibbiani of CraveOnline, The B-Movies Podcast, S.H.I.E.L.D.C.A.S.T. and Kings of Horror make the most of Alonso's defection to Kosovo with reviews of the latest films that are out now in theaters for you to see... in theaters. Travel to Linoleum-Knife.com for more knifings, subscribe (and leave a review) on iTunes, like our official Facebook page, follow us on Twitter at @LinoleumCast, and find Bibbs there too at @WilliamBibbiani. (P.S. Bibbs wrote this.)

Category:general -- posted at: 4:50pm EST

Dave and Alonso are married to the mob in haunted houses with infamous cars in the garage. It's fun to enjoy! Check out linoleum-knife.com, ubscribe for free (and review us) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, oh hello, hello, let it be him.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130915.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 3:19pm EST

Dave and Alonso establish the Lee Daniels rule and endorse occupying the jukebox at Buffalo Wild Wings. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe and review us at iTunes, do the mashed potato with a new attitude.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130908.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 6:06pm EST

Dave and Alonso got no beef with boy bands.

Subscribe for free (and review us!) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, never give up on the good times.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130901.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 3:25pm EST

Dave and Alonso have things to say about cheesy bread, lavender tea and pudding in Toluca Lake. Also, movies, several of which are way better than you might expect for the end of August. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free (and leave us a nice review) at iTunes, Christina Applegate you gotta put me on.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130825.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 7:42pm EST

Dave and Alonso hate the term "chick-flick" but they liked the show "Taradise." That's just two of the many vital tidbits contained in this week's episode. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, and check out the slow-but-sure growth of http://www.linoleum-knife.com and I wish this dream comes true.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130818.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 9:03pm EST

Fans of long episodes and of things getting knocked over in Dave and Alonso's apartment should enjoy this one. Plus we announce the winner of our creepy-doll contest, and we pay homage not only to Karen Black but also Eydie Gorme and Marilyn King. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free (and review us!) at iTunes, blame it on the bossa nova, with its magic spell.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130811.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 6:53pm EST

"2 Guns," "The Canyons," "The Smurfs 2," "The Spectacular Now," "Passion"

Dave's a little under the weather this week, so William Bibbiani (@williambibbiani) from The B-Movies Podcast sits in with Alonso to discuss new films from '70s auteurs Paul Schrader and Brian De Palma as well as the surprisingly good moments from The Smurfs 2 (neither of which makes that movie worth seeing). Oh, and there's the show's first giveaway, too. Subscribe for free (and review us) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, to prove that even wise men can be wrong I concentrate on you.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130804.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 7:55pm EST

Dave and Alonso argue over their punk credentials but both agree that Hugh Jackman should enjoy a nice bowl of fettucine. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free and review us on iTunes, first I'm gonna take it, then I'm gonna shake it 'til it falls apart.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130728.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 5:19pm EST

B. Ruby Rich, editor of Film Quarterly, professor of film and media studies at UC Santa Cruz and author of the new collection "New Queer Cinema: The Director's Cut" classes up the joint with her presence and her insights. Dave and Alonso argue over whether or not the new movie from the "Drive" guys is art or merely arty. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe on iTunes, I bought a ticket to the world and now I've come back again.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130721.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm EST

Dave and Alonso discuss hideous monsters that bring misery and destroy everything in their path. And in addition to "Grown Ups 2," there's "Pacific Rim." (Pacific rim-shot.) Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free (and review us!) on iTunes, Hedora, Hedora, He-do-raaaa...

Direct download: Linoleum_20130714.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 1:03pm EST

Dave and Alonso take their show on the road -- well, across town, anyway, to the home of writer pals Robert Abele (a previous guest on the podcast) and Margy Rochlin. The homeowners chime in and kibitz while Dave complains about Viking movies that need to take a page from Tyler Perry and Alonso's glasses fog up because it's July. Subscribe on iTunes (and show us some positive-review love), like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, thanks for the yacht and for the solid-gold sink.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130707.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 7:59pm EST

Dave and Alonso salute the good and stupid this week, whether it's the smart-stupid of Melissa McCarthy's hilariously obnoxious characters, the exhilarating-stupid of Roland Emmerich's new "Die Hard" ripoff, or the sexy-stupid of a fizzy, naughty romp from Pedro Almodóvar. Because really, it's too hot outside for anything else. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130630.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 10:18pm EST

Vinny Lopez of the very funny web series Two Jasperjohns (www.twojasperjohns.com) pops in to talk about the upcoming season, and Dave and Alonso discuss metaphorical zombies and boysenberry-flavored commitment ceremonies. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and review us!) at iTunes, commited a crime and went inside, it was coming your way and you had to survive.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130623.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 9:27pm EST

Dave and Alonso have thoughts about nausea and superheroes and the Kuleshov Effect. And, as ever, grape soda. Subscribe for free on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, stream on Stitcher, she loves to do the pony, she loves to do the jerk.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130616.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 9:04pm EST

Dave and Alonso both dislike the new Vince Vaughn-Owen Wilson movie...but find a way to argue about it anyway. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe on iTunes (and leave us a nice review), contact us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, the pumps don't work 'cause the vandals took the handles.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130609.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 9:50pm EST

Dave and Alonso travel into the future, behind the scenes of magic and into a environmentalist terrorism cult this week, but they'd much rather talk about rotisserie chicken. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, drop us a line at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, subscribe (and review us) at iTunes, and all the stars that never were are parking cars and pumping gas.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130602.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 3:13pm EST

Dave and Alonso welcome special guest and birthday girl Diane Stroud, the creator of the Linoleum Knife Drinking Game, to discuss childhood favorites and cult religions and other fascinating topics that filled up one of our longest show ever. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher, now you has mass motivation.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130526.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 6:12pm EST

Why the Federation is like "High School Musical" plus hate mail is just part of this week's excursion into the current cinema. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast (Dave is @dlelandwhite and Alonso is @aduralde), subscribe on iTunes, stream on Stitcher, have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?

Direct download: Linoleum_20130519.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 2:24pm EST

Plates are smashing and the '20s are roaring this week, as Dave and Alonso discuss new movies, an undersung hero of the French New Wave and the laziness of the word "pretentious." Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe at iTunes (and leave us a nice review), write us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, do you what you wanna do, I can't tell you who to sock it to.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130512.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 6:54pm EST

Dave and Alonso just want their summer blockbusters to be the life-changing experiences they are advertised to be, is that asking so much? Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe at iTunes, stream on Stitcher, if the nightingale could sing like you, it'd sing much sweeter than they do.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130504.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 1:48pm EST

Alonso is back from Dallas with stories about the USA Film Festival, but Dave has tales of cookies, free cake and some grumpy old ladies at a smooth radio station's movie screening that winds up being anything but mellow. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe at iTunes, got nowhere to go, all my time is free, so come on baby make a move on me.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130429.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 6:07pm EST

A slumgullion of science fiction and the divergent spiritual paths of Terrence Malick and Rob Zombie (to say nothing of Ingmar Bergman and Demi Moore) are on Dave and Alonso's menu. Also, Dave was totally super-wrong about Usher not being in "Scary Movie V," so there. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a positive review on iTunes, I'll be poolside if you're lookin' for me.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130421.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 4:25pm EST

Dave and Alonso discuss Very Loud Music, the triumph of the (iron) will and more. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher, check in at Get Glue, if words could speak they'd mean even less.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130414.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 4:46pm EST

Alonso wanted to write a limerick with "They try not to spoil/the new Danny Boyle" as the third and fourth line, but Dave kiboshed it because there weren't enough words that rhymed with "Roger," much less "Ebert." Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a review on iTunes, and when she passes, each one who passes goes, "Ahhh."

Direct download: Linoleum_20130407.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 5:26pm EST

If you don't want to hear any spoilers for the new Tyler Perry movie, stop now, because Dave and Alonso tell you all the reasons why you need to see this crackpot masterpiece of stupidness. They also share theories as to why it would have been ever better had the late Stephen Stucker ("Airplane!") had been cast in place of Kim Kardashian. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, e-mail us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, take the time, do it right, we can do it baby.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130331.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 4:08pm EST

Dave and Alonso disagree on campaign slogans for presumptive Senator-to-be Ashley Judd but they both think that Tina Fey deserves to be in way, way better movies. Subscribe on iTunes, like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us at Stitcher Radio, promise her the moon when the sun is bright.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130324.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 5:31pm EST

Dave and Alonso find themselves chopped and channelled into a listener-generated theme song (thanks, Duncan!) before saying very important things about Halle Berry's wig and Romanian nuns. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe and leave us a nice review at iTunes, stream us at Stitcher Radio, you just walk right in.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130317.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 8:24pm EST

Dave and Alonso take the usual yellow brick road of digressions while discussing the week's new movies. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast (and @aduralde and @dlelandwhite), stream on Stitcher Radio, leave us a nice iTunes review, check in at GetGlue, well you've always liked roller coasters and I'd be happy to let my stomach turn for you.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130310.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 4:12pm EST

China, chickens and Godzilla are just some of the pressing issues that Dave and Alonso face this week. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a rave review at iTunes, stream us at Stitcher Radio, smile for a while and let's be jolly.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130303.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 3:56pm EST

Dave and Alonso tell you which new movie is like the maze on the back of a Howard Johnson's placemat and other important stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with the Academy Awards. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in at GetGlue.com, stream at Stitcher Radio, like us, hate us, but you'll never change us.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130224.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 1:57pm EST

Dave and Alonso explain why some movies are like swallowing a penny and why all movies would be improved by the presence of Margo Martindale, preferably holding a live peacock. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a review at iTunes, check in on GetGlue, tell me you're tryin' to cure a seven-year ache.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130217.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55pm EST

Robert Abele of the Los Angeles Times joins Dave and Alonso this week, and of course the heterosexual guest is the only one of us who saw the gay movie. We also discuss why Melissa McCarthy is the new Oliver Hardy and the outsider art of Y.K. Kim. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher Radio, fare thee well my Texas moon.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130210.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 8:15pm EST

While Gary builds their new kitchen table in the background, Dave and Alonso fall in love with zombies all over again and wonder when Sylvester Stallone became such a pill. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast (and @aduralde and @dlelandwhite), review us on iTunes, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130203.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 7:23pm EST

Dave and Alonso defend some of Jennifer Lopez's film work and imagine a conversation with Halle Berry's wig. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in on GetGlue.com, stream us on Stitcher Radio, do your little turn on the catwalk.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130127.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55pm EST

Dave and Alonso recall 2012's rock bottom, while also suggesting movies so awful that you really must see them. (The Ghost Rider-Madea crossover, alas, exists only in our wishes.) Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in on GetGlue, stream on Stitcher Radio, brother and sister, together, will make it through.

Direct download: Linoleum_20130113.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 6:19pm EST

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