Dave and Alonso endure the longest opening theme song ever, debate the relative merits of 1982 vs. 1984 summer movies, and disagree over the meaning of the word "free-wheeling."

Dave and Alonso want everyone to start behaving themselves in movie theaters, even though that seems to be a totally lost cause. They also have plenty to say about the forward momentum of Tyler Perry as a director and are much less interested in rehashing this year's Oscar show.

Dave and Alonso are kind of bummed this week, because if you can't trust Nicolas Cage and the guys behind "Crank" to make an interesting movie about a flaming skeleton who rides a motorcycle, what's the point?

Dave and Alonso get side-tracked from this week movies and discuss Glitter and Sissy Spacek and Whitney Houston and Mary Kay Place and then somehow Glitter again. But they also review ths week's new movies. Except for Star Wars Episode I in 3-D, because seriously who cares.

TV star and sassy lady Christy Lemire joins Alonso for mimosas and Madonna, and discussions of haunted-house movies and 1980s sex romps. Follow her on Twitter: @christylemire

Dave and Alonso are sort of perplexed by the careers of Katherine Heigl and Sam Worthington. Liam Neeson, on the other hand, totally gets a pass, as do movies full of references to the French New Wave.

Alonso's back from Park City, so this slightly tardy episode features his favorite films from the Sundance Film Festival, along with Dave's pick of good and bad action movies with female leads, and a documentary that's almost entirely about breasteses.

Dave and Alonso are rendered almost speechless by the cruddiness of most of this week's movies, all the better to leave time to talk about lady doctors, Swinging London, and the intricacies of the "Petticoat Junction" theme song.

Dave and Alonso took a few weeks off, what with the holidays and their cars getting blown up by the LA Arsonist. So now they return with quick reviews of about a dozen movies plus tales of true crime.