Dave and Alonso like one of Benedict Cumberbatch's new movies more than the other, ahd you might not guess which. Buy our stuff. Happy Holidays. Like our Facebook page (and join our Facebook group page), follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe to our YouTube page, subscribe and leave us a nice review on iTunes, only a hippopotamus will do.

Dave's DVD pick of the week: PARENTS www.amazon.com/Fear-Parents-Carpet-Double-Feature/dp/B000C65YRQ/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Alonso's DVD pick of the week: LAST SUMMER www.amazon.com/Last-Summer-Samuel-Pettit/dp/B00O5A099S/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Not a whole lot of new movies this week, so Dave and Alonso get caught up on listener mail and promote our many wonderful products including Alonso's book HAVE YOURSELF A MOVIE LITTLE CHRISTMAS ($20), our T-shirts ($20) and our extra episodes ($1.99), including the freshly-recorded one about the 1959 SANTA CLAUS. Just PayPal us at linoleumpodcast [at] gmail [dot] com.

And while you're at it, like our Facebook page, leave us a nice review on iTunes, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe to our YouTube channel and check out our Listener Group page on Facebook. Don we now our gay apparel.

Dave's DVD pick of the week: JEALOUSY www.amazon.com/Jealousy-Louis-Garrel/dp/B00OBQ9P3C/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Alonso's DVD pick of the week: LES BLANK: ALWAYS FOR PLEASURE www.amazon.com/Blank-Always-Pleasure-Blu-ray/dp/B00MRKX9U4/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Alonso's other DVD pick of the week: MST3K: THE TURKEY DAY COLLECTION www.amazon.com/Mystery-Science-Theater-3000-Limited-/dp/B00MIA0LO0/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Special guest Chris Lavoie ("Producer Chris" of The Stephanie Miller Show) joins Dave and Alonso to discuss Martha Stewart's bedsheets, Kirk Cameron's refrigerators, and other pressing topics. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and review us) at iTunes, order books and shirts and stuff from linoleumpodcast [at] gmail [dot] com, you ain't ever gonna fly.

Follow Chris Lavoie on Twitter @RadioGuyChris and find more about The Stephanie Miller Show at stephaniemiller.com

Dave's DVD pick of the week: THE STORE http://www.zipporah.com/films/19Alonso's Blu-ray pick of the week: REMEMBER THE NIGHT http://shop.tcm.com/detail.php?p=712209&ecid=PRF-TCM-100189
Chris' streaming pick of the week: THREE WOMEN http://www.netflix.com/WiMovie/60036707?strkid=1218407445_0_0&trkid=222336&movieid=60036707 www.amazon.com/3-Women-Criterion-Collection-Blu-ray/dp/B0056ANHCM/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Dave and Alonso debate Christopher Nolan's (without spoilers) and gird themselves for the new Kirk Cameron joint by watching the loony "Last Ounce of Courage." Oh, and the one they couldn't remember was "Clue." Subscribe (and review us) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, buy Alonso's Christmas book or a T-shirt or other merch by PayPal-ing us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, and if it rains we'll let it.

Dave's DVD Pick of the Week: ABUSE OF WEAKNESS: www.amazon.com/Abuse-Weakness-Isabelle-Huppert/dp/B00MFZ62BY/?tag=alonsoduralde-20
Alonso's DVD Pick of the Week: I AM SANTA CLAUS: www.amazon.com/Am-Santa-Claus-Mick-Foley/dp/B00N31E176/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Stream WHY DON'T YOU PLAY IN HELL?: www.amazon.com/Why-Dont-You-Play-Hell/dp/B00O9SEJE2/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

This week, Dave and Alonso are all about JLG (Jean-Luc Godard) and JG (Jake Gyllenhaal). Plus exciting Christmas news! Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and leave a nice review) at iTunes, on the edge and on the avenue.

Alonso's DVD pick of the week: STANLEY KUBRICK: THE MASTERPIECE COLLECTION www.amazon.com/Stanley-Kubrick-Masterpiece-Collection-Exclusive/dp/B00M7F47F0/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Dave's DVD pick of the week: SANTA CLAUS www.amazon.com/Santa-Claus-Collectors-Edition-Blu-ray/dp/B005L2EOLS/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Horror expert and "Bitches" playwright-director Sean Abley pops by to argue (and occasionally agree) with Dave and Alonso. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free at iTunes (and leave us a nice review), it was a graveyard smash.

Alonso's DVD pick: THE COMPLETE JACQUES TATI www.amazon.com/Complete-Jacques-Tati-Blu-ray/dp/B00LUSUWSQ/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Dave's DVD pick: BLACK SABBATH www.amazon.com/Black-Sabbath-Michèle-Mercier/dp/B00AGKH714/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Sean's DVD pick: MARTYRS www.amazon.com/Martyrs-Unrated-Catherine-Begin/dp/B001MEJY8W/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Dave and Alonso continue to catch up on movies they missed while they were out of town, including a disappointingly non-bonkers Bible movie starring a usually reliably histrionic actor. Like our Facebook page, follow us on @linoleumcast, leave us a nice review on iTunes (and subscribe for free), it's hard to tell you how I feel without hurting you.

Alonso's DVD pick of the week: SCHOOL DAZE www.amazon.com/School-Daze-Laurence-Fishburne/dp/B000051YMS/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Dave's DVD pick of the week: NORTE, THE END OF HISTORY www.amazon.com/Norte-End-History/dp/B00NHPM1ZC/?tag=alonsoduralde-20

Dave and Alonso are back from Spain, and Rachel True from "The Craft" would like to know how they are, among other things. And she and Robert Abele join us for a spoiler-filled discussion of "Gone Girl" that's at the very end so you can skip it if you're not ready for it yet. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe on iTunes (and leave a review), little fluffy clouds.

Dave wants to enjoy his vacation in the Canary Islands, so Alonso interviews his brother Fernando Duralde, MD, about his family's shared love of movies, the old-Hollywood revival at Harvard in the early 1970s, and other matters. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleum cast, visit linoleum-knife.com, we could have made it groovy.

Dave and Alonso explain why "Taken" is this generation's "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" and explain why trailers can't always be trusted. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a review on iTunes, all the feelings denied, blood on your fist.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by the Kickstarter campaign for "I Was a Teenage Wereskunk": http://www.teenagewereskunk.com

Alonso's eye hurts, but he and Dave still have plenty to say about movie stars who can't convincingly wash dishes and death by "Footloose." Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe to our new YouTube channel, buy our stuff, no wise man has the power.

The Linoleum Knife podcast is brought to you by the Kickstarter campaign for I WAS A TEENAGE WERESKUNK: http://wereskunk.com

Dennis Hensley of the Dennis, Anyone? podcast joins Dave and Alonso to discuss undiscovered Dairy Queens and to launch the "Two Fins Up!" craze that will no doubt be sweeping the nation. There might also be a surprise appearance from another friend of the show. Subscribe (and review us) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, buy our merch, I'm fascinated by your love boy.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by the I WAS A TEENAGE WERESKUNK Kickstarter campaign: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1811222831/i-was-a-teenage-wereskunk

Find Dennis Hensley @hensleydennis and at http://www.dennisanyone.net/

Dave and Alonso devote most of this post–Labor Day episode to one of those bad movies that make you call all your friends so that they don't miss it. Also, Alonso might get Bell & Sebastian confused with Everything But the Girl. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free and review us on iTunes, Nashville Tonight!

Linoleum Knife is sponsored by the I WAS A TEENAGE WERESKUNK Kickstarter campaign, http://www.teenagewereskunk.com/

Alonso is at the Venice Film Festival (sorry about the audio) and Variety's chief international film critic joins him to discuss the new movies at the festival and the Labor Day movies opening in theaters. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, buy our shirts and special episodes, say nice things about us on iTunes, it's not so wrong to be human after all.

Follow Peter @askdebruge

Dave and Alonso post their Longest. Episode. Ever. mainly due to reading all their backlogged listener mail. But then Dave completely forgets one of the new movies until well into hour two. If you listen to this one in chunks, we won't be offended. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast and please leave us a positive review on iTunes, where you can also subscribe for free. Lookin' good, hangin' with the wild bunch.

Ellen Fox (of SyFy's "Wizard Wars" and formerly of "The Rotten Tomatoes Show") joins Dave and Alonso to discuss the film legends we lost this week and why the new Steve Coogan movie is like mumblecore done right. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a nice review on iTunes, buy a shirt and an extra episode, call me in and call me out and I'll be waiting for the shout.

Follow Ellen @ellenfox and check out http://www.syfy.com/wizardwars/team/ellen_fox

Schmoes Know hosts Mark Ellis and Kristian Harloff join Dave and Alonso to talk about hushing rude movie patrons, the glory days of Phoebe Cates, and dancing in Space-France. Follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a nice review (and subscribe) at iTunes, buy a shirt and an extra episode, we're coming out of our shells.

Kristian @KristianHarloff
Mark @5150ellis
http://schmoesknow.com
http://youtube.com/schmoesknow

Dave and Alonso talk about Harvey Comics and pause a lot while Alonso tells Dave spoilers and such. Buy shirts! Buy extra episodes! Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a nice iTunes review, I'm fascinated.

Dave and Alonso talk about Comic-Con, Jafar Panahi, the Honey Badger of movie publicists, and Nia Vardalos (with whom they are on a strictly first-name-last-name basis). Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, buy a T-shirt and the "Josie and the Pussycats" extra episode, turn the beat around.

Alonso being swamped with Outfest equals Dave having to talk about movies on his own equals more time for listener mail! Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and review!) on iTunes, I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed.

Dave drags Alonso to an ethnographic film set on a cable-car in Nepal; hilarity ensues. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, buy our shirts ($20) and extra episodes ($1.99 each) with a PayPal to linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, once again around the dance floor.

Dave and Alonso discuss death and mattresses. Also, movies. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free (and review us) on iTunes. PayPal linoleumpodcast@gmail.com for T-shirts ($20, plus non-US shipping) and Linoleum Knife Presents More Linoleum Knife ($1.99 per episode), I hear the cottonwoods whisperin' above.

Dave and Alonso's respective musical tastes explain why each one likes a relatively indefensible movie. Also, they went to a drive-in. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast and buy our stuff: PayPal $20 to linoleumpodcast@gmail.com to pre-order a T-shirt or PayPal $1.99 each for any or all of our extra movie-discussion episodes. Don't go for second-best, baby.

Novelist and Entertainment Weekly senior writer Anthony Breznican joins Dave and Alonso to talk about high-school misery and to wonder what the hell Clint Eastwood was thinking. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, PayPal us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com for T-shirts and extra episodes, you'd be like heaven to touch.

Buy Anthony's novel BRUTAL YOUTH at http://bit.ly/T1ONPJ

Dave and Alonso discuss their favorite Scientologist and explain how one man's "meta-homophobia" is another man's "straight-up gay." Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free (and leave us a nice review) on iTunes, ladies, have you ever had a man go away on business come back with a tan?

Dave and Alonso realized after taping this week's episode that they had forgotten to review "Night Moves" (which they'll cover next week, honest) but in the meantime they have plenty to say about teenage death indulgence and Tom Cruise time-loops. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free (and review us) on iTunes, something tells me I'm into something good.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM by Reed Martin http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ Win a free copy by telling us why you deserve one, in 50 words or less, and send it to linoleumpodcast [at] gmail [dot] com

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by DIGITAL CINEMATOGRAPHY: FUNDAMENTALS, TOOLS, TECHNIQUES AND WORKFLOWS by David Stump http://bit.ly/1kT5XdB

Curt Holman of Creative Loafing/Atlanta joins Dave and Alonso (in their first-ever podcast recorded outside their house) to discuss Swedish punks, round-face Western heroes and Disney revenge fantasies. Subscribe (and review) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, check out linoleum-knife.com, hypnotize, oo!

On this episode, find out how to win a copy of our sponsor's book THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING  YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM by Reed Martin. Or just buy one at http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by Focal Press, publishers of WRITE TO TV: OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND ONTO THE SCREEN by Martie Cook. http://amzn.to/RT5Djj

Dave and Alonso make up new mutants (Swiffer! Chapstick!) to ease the pain of enduring another Adam Sandler joint. Subscribe (and leave us a review) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, buy our swag, it's called a dance floor and here's what it's for.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM, by Reed Martin. http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE TV SHOWRUNNERS' ROADMAP: 21 NAVIGATIONAL TIPS FOR SCREENWRITERS TO CREATE AND SUSTAIN A HIT TV SERIES by Neil Landau http://bit.ly/1ppKtVJ

If anyone can map a course from Gojira to Bresson, it's Dave and Alonso. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and review us) on iTunes, order a T-shirt or commentary track from linoleumpodcast [at] gmail [dot] com, everyone's a winner, baby.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM, by Reed Martin http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ

Linoleum Knife is brought to you THE SHUT UP AND SHOOT DOCUMENTARY GUIDE: A DOWN AND DIRTY DV PRODUCTION by Anthony Q. Artis http://amzn.to/1qNoooi

KCRW's Madeleine Brand classes up the joint as Dave and Alonso fight off a pancake coma with discussion of harried moms and chubby man-children (on screen, that is.) Subscribe (and review) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, folluw us @linoleumcast (and Madeleine at @TheMadBrand and @KCRWPressPlay)

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM by Reed Martin. http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ

Dave and Alonso are feeling post-modern but not quite romantic about the big movie and the small movies this week, but there you have it. Subscribe at iTunes and leave us a nice review, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, ooooh how I love the rainy days.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM by Reed Martin http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ

Visit www.linoleum-knife.com this week to see when we've posted "Linoleum Knife Presents More Linoleum Knife: TWO FOR THE ROAD"

Dave and Alonso's tardy post–USA Film Festival podcast includes everything you needed to know about fish-gutting, Kate Upton's contributions to heterosexuality, and telling Carol Kane and Carole King apart. Subscribe (and review us) on iTunes, stream (and review us) on Stitcher Radio, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, you see little sister don't miss when she aims her gun.

Visit linoleum-knife.com and PayPal $1.99 each to linoleumpodcast@gmail.com for our CLUE and THE APPLE commentaries; TWO FOR THE ROAD commentary coming soon.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM by Reed Martin. http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ

Dave and Alonso are enjoying an apartment that smells like ham, which is far preferable to "A Haunted House 2." Subscribe and review us on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, da da da.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH by Reed Martin http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ and No-Budget Film School http://bit.ly/NHdjDd (use discount code LINOLEUM to save 20% off their "Art and Science of No-Budget Filmmaking" seminar May 3 and 4!)

Please take our listener survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/WPN2VPW

Alonso and Dave are feeling collegial and enjoying the fact that they aren't quite sure what exactly happens in that new Scarlett Johansson movie (the one that Captain America isn't in). Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, buy our commentary tracks by PayPal-ing $1.99 each to linoleumpodcast@gmail.com.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM, by Reed Martin. http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ

Our theme music is composed and performed by Bleu -- http://www.bleutopia.com

Dave and Alonso argue over who's boss but also acknowledge that it might be Jude Law or Chris Evans. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free at iTunes, visit linoleum-knife.com, catch a falling star and put it in your pocket.

Pick up Reed Martin's THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM at http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ

Sign up for No Budget Film School's "The Art & Science of No-Budget Filmmaking," May 3-4 in Los Angeles and get a 20% discount with offer code LINOLEUM. http://bit.ly/NHdjDd

Dave & Alonso make O-faces for Lars Von Trier and O RLY-faces for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Like our Facebook page, subscribe and review us on iTunes, follow us @linoleumcast, it's a lot like life. Linoleum Knife is sponsored by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO KNOW TO MAKE AN INDEPENDENT FILM by Reed Martin http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ and No Budget Film School's "The Art & Science of No-Budget Filmmaking" on May 3-4 http://bit.ly/NHdjDd -- get 20% off with discount code LINOLEUM

Dave and Alonso juggle a new sponsor, another Jesus movie, possible food poisoning and a movie they forgot to cover last week, so please forgive them for not getting around to "Nymphomaniac, Vols. 1 and 2." Subscribe on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, and we all shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun.

Buy our CLUE episode/commentary for just $1.99, PayPal-ed to linoleumpodcast@gmail.com

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEED TO KNOW TO MAKE AN INDEPENDENT FILM by Reed Martin http://amzn.to/1f7rQiZ

Linoleum Knife is also brought to you by No-Budget Film School; sign up for their famed two-day class "The Art & Science of No-Budget Filmmaking on May 3 & 4 in Los Angeles and get 20% off with promo code LINOLEUM. http://bit.ly/NHdjDd

Dave and Alonso have a new theme song AND a new Tyler Perry movie to dissect, so it's like double Christmas around here. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, PayPal $1.99 each to linoleumpodcast@gmail.com for our commentary tracks for CLUE and THE APPLE, do do that voodoo that you do so well.

Linoleum Knife is brought to you by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT FILM by Reed Martin. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003MQLZKS/ref=alonsoduralde-20

Theme music by Bleu -- find out more at http://www.bleutopia.com

Dave and Alonso discuss the "faggy"-osity of the 300 franchise and concoct better plot twists for Annette Bening's latest. Subscribe and review us on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast and hey I passed you on the street.

The Linoleum Knife Podcast is sponsored by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT MAKING AN INDEPENDENT MOVIE by Reed Martin. http://www.amazon.com/Reel-Truth-Everything-Making-Independent/dp/0571211038/ref=alonsoduralde-20

Dave and Alonso both make embarrassing production mistakes before discussing why there hasn't been a decent Jesus movie in decades, and why there needs to be an action movie about a guy who bumps into things and spills food on his clothing. Sponsored by THE REEL TRUTH: EVERYTHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEED TO KNOW TO MAKE AN INDEPENDENT FILM by Reed Martin. Leave us a nice review (and subscribe) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast I see you baby, shakin' that a**.

Dave and Alonso have a new tape deck! Also lots of opinions about the healing powers of Dakota Fanning, Child Veterinarian. Visit linoleum-knife.com, subscribe for free (and review us!) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, I dreamed I saw the knights in armor coming, saying something about a queen.

Dave and Alonso welcome Matt Zoller Seitz, author of THE WES ANDERSON COLLECTION, editor-in-chief of RogerEbert.com and TV critic for Vulture to discuss everything from "Bottle Rocket" set visits to the most interesting filmmaker hiding in the ensemble of "Girls." Follow Matt @mattzollerseitz ooh la la.

Dave and Alonso make their way through a sea of '80s remakes this week. Leave us a nice review on iTunes (and subscribe to the show while you're at it), like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast and he be makin' like a beeline, headin' for the borderline, goin' for broke.

Dave and Alonso marvel over how plastic toys can be more compelling that George Clooney saving art from the Nazis, and speaking of, Dave has lots of Holocaust documentary to talk about. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast and go to linoleum-knife.com and buy our new commentary track for THE APPLE (1980), where my love can be found and my heart rings true.

Dave and Alonso remember the extraordinary actor-director and lament his passing before moving on to more utterly mediocre January toss-offs. Hey, go to our site and buy our commentary for THE APPLE! Also, subscribe (and review) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, I just know that something good is going to happen.

Dave and Alonso are currently without a cassette player, but they have plenty to say about gargoyles, French onanists and Rosario Dawson's meth teeth. (In character!) Subscribe and review us at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, like a bleary-eyed baboon to an organ grinder's tune.

Dave and Alonso recorded an episode before Alonso left for Sundance because math is hard, apparently. Subscribe for free (and review us) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, you're the national gallery, you're double salary, you're cellophane.

Dave and Alonso are joined by Manohla Dargis (The New York Times) and Robert Abele (Los Angeles Times) to stick a fork in 2013. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast & subscribe and leave us a nice review at iTunes. I know my chicken, you got to know your chicken.

Dave and Alonso look back on 2013 with L.A. Weekly critic Amy Nicholson -- and yes, she explains how "Pain and Gain" made her Top 10 list. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, visit linoleum-knife.com, leave us a nice iTunes review, three's not a crowd to her, she says.

Dave and Alonso have a heapin' helpin' of Christmas releases to shovel through on this last episode of 2013, but luckily the hilarious and insightful Drew Droege @drewdroege is here to lend a hand and an opinon. Subscribe (and review us) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, and a love beat is a good vibration.

Dave and Alonso revel in a relatively light pre-Christmas week before the flood of year-end releases, so there's plenty of time to discuss catchphrases, contemporary art and the hotness of Spaniards. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and leave us a nice review) on iTunes, wonderland, wonderland, shining star, jingle bells.

Dave and Alonso try to fix Madea and share questions and theories about a beloved and much-hated Christmas staple, still finding time to discuss frozen jelly donuts and British chocolate biscuits. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and rate us) on iTunes, buy our shirt and commentary and books, you're all that I need, underneath the tree.

Dave and Alonso are joined by Sean Abley, author of "Out in the Dark: Interviews with Gay Horror Filmmakers, Actors and Authors" to discuss folkies, hill people and cat peril. Buy a T-shirt or a book or a commentary track! Drop us a line at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com. You're much better with than without it.

Dave and Alonso aren't entirely sure what two of their favorite African American filmmakers are up to in their latest, but at least Jason Statham is always Jason Statham. Buy a T-shirt or Alonso's book! Drop us a line at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com. Like our Facebook page and stuff. Rootie-toot-toots and rummy-tum-tums.

Dave and Alonso ponder why so much of the "Hunger Games" marketing is aspirational toward the villains, as well as other cinematic mysteries. Subscribe for free on iTunes, where we would love it if you would leave us a positive review, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, buy a book, buy a shirt, every rose has its thorn.

Dave and Alonso know it isn't Christmas yet, but they've already started playing holiday music on KOST in Los Angeles and Terrence Howard looks spiffy in a red scarf, so there you go. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a nice review on iTunes, you just walked right in, walked walked walked right in.

Dave and Alonso wonder why parking (and cheese) is so expensive in Beverly Hills, and they hate inappropriately sappy Holocaust movies. All this and more on this week's episode. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a nice review on iTunes, things that you would not do at home come naturally on the floor.

Dave and Alonso tackle aspirate h-es, magical homos and controversial authors in this week's installment. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a nice review (and subscribe for free) at iTunes, attention to me seemed to drift though I don't know where.

Dave and Alonso discuss movies by, for and about Christians, which may or may not involve an "Oogieloves" reference. And Dave defends an aggressively unloved new movie. Subscribe (and review us) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, it ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it, and that's what get results.

Guest star Jack Morrissey of the Team Jack Podcast (and co-producer of "The Fifth Estate") drops in to give Dave and Alonso some full-on Hollywood insider action. Strap yourself in. Also, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, review us (and subscribe for free) on iTunes, it leaps and creeps and glides and slides across the floor.

Dave and Alonso connect the dots between Paul Greengrass and Kevin McCallister, among other big ideas. Like our Facebook page, visit linoleum-knife.com, follow us @linoleumcast, review us (and subscribe for free on iTunes), paradise is exactly like where you are right now only much, much better.

Dave and Alonso have their usual disagreements about theme songs but they both really love that outer-space movie. Visit linoleum-knife.com, like our Facebook page, leave us a nice review (and subscribe!) at iTunes, the message is perfectly simple, the meaning is clear.

Dave and Alonso go to Santa Monica for people-watching, meatballs and Stanley Kubrick. And Alonso made it home safely from Kosovo without having to wackily run through airports like Paula Patton. Subscribe (and review!) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, oh no it's a killer blow.

Dave and special guest William "Bibbs" Bibbiani of CraveOnline, The B-Movies Podcast, S.H.I.E.L.D.C.A.S.T. and Kings of Horror make the most of Alonso's defection to Kosovo with reviews of the latest films that are out now in theaters for you to see... in theaters. Travel to Linoleum-Knife.com for more knifings, subscribe (and leave a review) on iTunes, like our official Facebook page, follow us on Twitter @LinoleumCast, and find Bibbs there too at @WilliamBibbiani. (P.S. Bibbs wrote this.)

Dave and Alonso are married to the mob in haunted houses with infamous cars in the garage. It's fun to enjoy! Check out linoleum-knife.com, ubscribe for free (and review us) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, oh hello, hello, let it be him.

Dave and Alonso establish the Lee Daniels rule and endorse occupying the jukebox at Buffalo Wild Wings. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe and review us at iTunes, do the mashed potato with a new attitude.

Dave and Alonso got no beef with boy bands.

Subscribe for free (and review us!) on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, never give up on the good times.

Dave and Alonso have things to say about cheesy bread, lavender tea and pudding in Toluca Lake. Also, movies, several of which are way better than you might expect for the end of August. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free (and leave us a nice review) at iTunes, Christina Applegate you gotta put me on.

Dave and Alonso hate the term "chick-flick" but they liked the show "Taradise." That's just two of the many vital tidbits contained in this week's episode. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, and check out the slow-but-sure growth of http://www.linoleum-knife.com and I wish this dream comes true.

Fans of long episodes and of things getting knocked over in Dave and Alonso's apartment should enjoy this one. Plus we announce the winner of our creepy-doll contest, and we pay homage not only to Karen Black but also Eydie Gorme and Marilyn King. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free (and review us!) at iTunes, blame it on the bossa nova, with its magic spell.

Dave's a little under the weather this week, so William Bibbiani (@williambibbiani) from The B-Movies Podcast sits in with Alonso to discuss new films from '70s auteurs Paul Schrader and Brian De Palma as well as the surprisingly good moments from The Smurfs 2 (neither of which makes that movie worth seeing). Oh, and there's the show's first giveaway, too. Subscribe for free (and review us) at iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, to prove that even wise men can be wrong I concentrate on you.

Dave and Alonso argue over their punk credentials but both agree that Hugh Jackman should enjoy a nice bowl of fettucine. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free and review us on iTunes, first I'm gonna take it, then I'm gonna shake it 'til it falls apart.

B. Ruby Rich, editor of Film Quarterly, professor of film and media studies at UC Santa Cruz and author of the new collection "New Queer Cinema: The Director's Cut" classes up the joint with her presence and her insights. Dave and Alonso argue over whether or not the new movie from the "Drive" guys is art or merely arty. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe on iTunes, I bought a ticket to the world and now I've come back again.

Dave and Alonso discuss hideous monsters that bring misery and destroy everything in their path. And in addition to "Grown Ups 2," there's "Pacific Rim." (Pacific rim-shot.) Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe for free (and review us!) on iTunes, Hedora, Hedora, He-do-raaaa...

Dave and Alonso take their show on the road -- well, across town, anyway, to the home of writer pals Robert Abele (a previous guest on the podcast) and Margy Rochlin. The homeowners chime in and kibitz while Dave complains about Viking movies that need to take a page from Tyler Perry and Alonso's glasses fog up because it's July. Subscribe on iTunes (and show us some positive-review love), like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, thanks for the yacht and for the solid-gold sink.

Dave and Alonso salute the good and stupid this week, whether it's the smart-stupid of Melissa McCarthy's hilariously obnoxious characters, the exhilarating-stupid of Roland Emmerich's new "Die Hard" ripoff, or the sexy-stupid of a fizzy, naughty romp from Pedro Almodóvar. Because really, it's too hot outside for anything else. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long.

Vinny Lopez of the very funny web series Two Jasperjohns (www.twojasperjohns.com) pops in to talk about the upcoming season, and Dave and Alonso discuss metaphorical zombies and boysenberry-flavored commitment ceremonies. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe (and review us!) at iTunes, commited a crime and went inside, it was coming your way and you had to survive.

Dave and Alonso have thoughts about nausea and superheroes and the Kuleshov Effect. And, as ever, grape soda. Subscribe for free on iTunes, like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, stream on Stitcher, she loves to do the pony, she loves to do the jerk.

Dave and Alonso both dislike the new Vince Vaughn-Owen Wilson movie...but find a way to argue about it anyway. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe on iTunes (and leave us a nice review), contact us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, the pumps don't work 'cause the vandals took the handles.

Dave and Alonso travel into the future, behind the scenes of magic and into a environmentalist terrorism cult this week, but they'd much rather talk about rotisserie chicken. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, drop us a line at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, subscribe (and review us) at iTunes, and all the stars that never were are parking cars and pumping gas.

Dave and Alonso welcome special guest and birthday girl Diane Stroud, the creator of the Linoleum Knife Drinking Game, to discuss childhood favorites and cult religions and other fascinating topics that filled up one of our longest show ever. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher, now you has mass motivation.

Why the Federation is like "High School Musical" plus hate mail is just part of this week's excursion into the current cinema. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast (Dave is @dlelandwhite and Alonso is @aduralde), subscribe on iTunes, stream on Stitcher, have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?

Plates are smashing and the '20s are roaring this week, as Dave and Alonso discuss new movies, an undersung hero of the French New Wave and the laziness of the word "pretentious." Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe at iTunes (and leave us a nice review), write us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, do you what you wanna do, I can't tell you who to sock it to.

Dave and Alonso just want their summer blockbusters to be the life-changing experiences they are advertised to be, is that asking so much? Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe at iTunes, stream on Stitcher, if the nightingale could sing like you, it'd sing much sweeter than they do.

Alonso is back from Dallas with stories about the USA Film Festival, but Dave has tales of cookies, free cake and some grumpy old ladies at a smooth radio station's movie screening that winds up being anything but mellow. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, subscribe at iTunes, got nowhere to go, all my time is free, so come on baby make a move on me.

A slumgullion of science fiction and the divergent spiritual paths of Terrence Malick and Rob Zombie (to say nothing of Ingmar Bergman and Demi Moore) are on Dave and Alonso's menu. Also, Dave was totally super-wrong about Usher not being in "Scary Movie V," so there. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a positive review on iTunes, I'll be poolside if you're lookin' for me.

Dave and Alonso discuss Very Loud Music, the triumph of the (iron) will and more. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher, check in at Get Glue, if words could speak they'd mean even less.

Alonso wanted to write a limerick with "They try not to spoil/the new Danny Boyle" as the third and fourth line, but Dave kiboshed it because there weren't enough words that rhymed with "Roger," much less "Ebert." Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a review on iTunes, and when she passes, each one who passes goes, "Ahhh."

If you don't want to hear any spoilers for the new Tyler Perry movie, stop now, because Dave and Alonso tell you all the reasons why you need to see this crackpot masterpiece of stupidness. They also share theories as to why it would have been ever better had the late Stephen Stucker ("Airplane!") had been cast in place of Kim Kardashian. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, e-mail us at linoleumpodcast@gmail.com, take the time, do it right, we can do it baby.

Dave and Alonso disagree on campaign slogans for presumptive Senator-to-be Ashley Judd but they both think that Tina Fey deserves to be in way, way better movies. Subscribe on iTunes, like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us at Stitcher Radio, promise her the moon when the sun is bright.

Dave and Alonso take the usual yellow brick road of digressions while discussing the week's new movies. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast (and @aduralde and @dlelandwhite), stream on Stitcher Radio, leave us a nice iTunes review, check in at GetGlue, well you've always liked roller coasters and I'd be happy to let my stomach turn for you.

China, chickens and Godzilla are just some of the pressing issues that Dave and Alonso face this week. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a rave review at iTunes, stream us at Stitcher Radio, smile for a while and let's be jolly.

Dave and Alonso tell you which new movie is like the maze on the back of a Howard Johnson's placemat and other important stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with the Academy Awards. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in at GetGlue.com, stream at Stitcher Radio, like us, hate us, but you'll never change us.

Dave and Alonso explain why some movies are like swallowing a penny and why all movies would be improved by the presence of Margo Martindale, preferably holding a live peacock. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, leave us a review at iTunes, check in on GetGlue, tell me you're tryin' to cure a seven-year ache.

Robert Abele of the Los Angeles Times joins Dave and Alonso this week, and of course the heterosexual guest is the only one of us who saw the gay movie. We also discuss why Melissa McCarthy is the new Oliver Hardy and the outsider art of Y.K. Kim. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, stream us on Stitcher Radio, fare thee well my Texas moon.

While Gary builds their new kitchen table in the background, Dave and Alonso fall in love with zombies all over again and wonder when Sylvester Stallone became such a pill. Like our Facebook page, follow us @linoleumcast (and @aduralde and @dlelandwhite), review us on iTunes, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world.

Dave and Alonso defend some of Jennifer Lopez's film work and imagine a conversation with Halle Berry's wig. Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in on GetGlue.com, stream us on Stitcher Radio, do your little turn on the catwalk.

Dave and Alonso recall 2012's rock bottom, while also suggesting movies so awful that you really must see them. (The Ghost Rider-Madea crossover, alas, exists only in our wishes.) Like us on Facebook, follow us @linoleumcast, check in on GetGlue, stream on Stitcher Radio, brother and sister, together, will make it through.